TQ: Man this is a tough one. I'll go with Cold Case as my favorite fandom, edging out Law and Order by the narrowest margin. The best episode pick isn't any easier, but I guess I'll go with "Wishing", in which the team investigates the 1993 murder of a mentally retarded teenager. The victim in the case is about the most sympathetic one ever on the show, and he gets so horribly abused by everyone around him that it really makes your blood boil. I just wanted to jump into the tv and beat the hell out of almost everyone involved with him. Overall it's by far the most depressing episode I've ever seen of any tv show or movie in my life, and to top it all off they end it with a really depressing song for the final montage: (Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow). I mean just look at it. It's depressing enough to ruin your day even if you don't know anything about the episode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY4wvKvJd5s

I can't think of any other episodes of any other show that stir my emotions so much. A true masterpiece.

Review:

Well not much to say on this one. It does show why people should really carry their phones in their FRONT pocket, but other than that there just wasn't much to keep me interested. I probably would have liked it more if I had seen the episode you were referencing, but unfortunantly that's not the case. The writing style was pretty well done and there are no grammer issues that I can see. I also really liked the description of the house. Very articulate and I could mentally picture everything about it. But overall this just wasn't my thing. Without knowing what the episode was actually about, or knowing much about the characters it was hard to get interested in all the reflections.

It wasn't based on an episode at all, actually. It was complete invention. Well, except the referencing of the episodes Grave Danger and Gum Drops. Which were two highly significant episodes to Nick's characterization... But that's the thing about me. I watch these shows, even the crime dramas, for the characters as much as for the cases. Far, far, moreso for the characters of CSI than any of the cases. Not that I haven't loved a suspect or two over the years. Paul Milander--a genius character from any way you look at him. Though I will admit that the few rare chances I actually get to watch Cold Case I enjoy it because it's so... aesthetically pleasing. The cases aren't any more special to me than those of any of the other shows I watch. But man is it a pleasure to watch! It's always so very well put together. The costumes are the best I've seen on a show in a long time and the soundtracks for the episodes are always spot on. I digress though. The point is... I wrote this for Nick more than I did for any case or episode.

Anyway, it's really great to see you around again. Will you be submitting something else to us for us to critique any time soon? Your work is always so well done from a case-centric standpoint. It's a nice change from the norm.

Not at this time. For some reason I just havn't been able to think of another story since I finished the last one. To be honest I'm still surprised I ever came up with a coherent one to begin with. It just seemed like everything flowed together for the last one in a way I have not been able to duplicate since.

Critique:

Okay, I am totally guilty of the butt dialing. And butt texting. But those are different stories entirely... haha.

This is such a cute, sweet story. I really like it. It's amazing when you can just sit two people down and have them have a conversation about the past... Becky and Nick are so well written, and with the way you write, it feels like you’re right there in the room with them, watching them as they talked. Awesome job.

I like the way the song punctuates throughout the story. It's well done, and well written. The lines fit in at the perfect time in the story, and just adds to it so well. Also, I love your used of imagery and the way you write out the photographs. I can see the pictures in my mind as I read them, and I really like that. I love your writing style.

Two typos- "Something that only their mother would have been able to pull of in any home that wasn’t in a movie." I think you meant 'off' instead 'of', and "Nick distinctly loved that tadition even though he’d groaned about it at each of the six graduations he’d been to before his own." I think you mean 'tradition'.

All in all, great story. A pleasure to read.

TQ:

I'm gonna cheat and choose my two favorite fandoms, because I can't choose between them at the moment... haha.

Criminal Minds: "Masterpiece" because Jason Alexander was phenomenal in it and the storyline was awesome. And, because I still suck at choosing, "Pleasure Is My Business", because Hotch is so sweet with her, and I feel for her too. It’s a really good episode.

Supernatural: “A Very Supernatural Christmas” because it gives you a glimpse of where Dean gets the necklace he always wears while the boys also hunt and talk about whether or not they should have a last Christmas (even though it isn’t their last). And, also, “On the Head of a Pin” because the end scene between Castiel and Dean is so sadly sweet, and it explains so much of why everything's happening the way it is.

TQ: What is your favorite episode in your favorite fandom? Why?
Obviously, it will come as no surprise to any of you that my favourite fandom is CSI:Miami, but as for picking a favourite episode… *thinks… thinks… think…* Nah! Can’t do it! It all depends on what sort of mood I’m in, I suppose, and what my heart and soul crave from that mood. If I’m feeling all schmushy-wushy then I’ll re-watch an episode with a bit of lovey-dovey romance in it. I was going to name one here, but there actually aren’t that many in Miami – at least not until Eric and Calleigh get it on, but that hasn’t aired here yet. Other times I’ll want a bit of a thrill to bring a little excitement into my otherwise dull and boring life, so I’ll want to watch an episode with SuperH doing his thing – running out of burning buildings, driving a car full of explosives around, fighting off dozens of well-armed bad guys single-handed with only a toothpick and a pair of rubber gloves, and general being supa-dupa!

Also, it's still an ongoing thing, so my favourite probably changes every week, or every time I watch a DVD, or whatever. I'm very fickle!

I suppose two of my real favourites are from the first season – Dead Woman Walking, and Freaks and Tweaks, but I can’t explain why I like them – I just do.

That is such a terrible answer to a great TQ! Shoot me now!



Critique:
In His Sister's Eyes (By Saving Just This One)
by lostladyknight (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation)

Sorry in advance – this is going to be really quick and short, as I've been away for the weekend and I am sooooo tired!

Grammar and spelling stuff:
A few missing commas that would have made it read better in places.
Odd reference to “tree-hugging”… I think it should be a comma not a hyphen!
And a letter “r” missed out of “tradition”, but I think someone else pointed that out.
Also – should butt dialing be hyphenated? Dunno… butt-dialing?

Other writing stuff:


Took a minute to work out who was speaking the middle sentence here. Maybe it should be on the same line as “…like she was a teenager.” to show it’s Becky still speaking? Assuming it is Becky speaking?



Had a bit of trouble making this bit make sense in the context of the conversation, but that might just be me reading it wrong – I had to read it several times to work out what was going on and what it had to do with anything.

This line unintentionally made me laugh:


Just trying to picture Judge Stokes in diapers…! Maybe “Nick” rather than just “he”?

Plot, characters, etc.
I don’t know Nick very well, or his background, family, etc, but from what I’ve seen of him, you got him about right – but then you always seem to nail the CSI:CSI characters! He has a certain sensitivity, which only occasionally comes out on the show, but when it does – BAM! You got that just right.

I loved the idea of using the family photographs as the backdrop to their conversation, and the way the pictures evoked particular memories or fitted in with their thoughts and words. I did feel that maybe it could go a bit deeper (but maybe that wasn’t your intention) and I thought it ended a bit abruptly.

I got to the end still not knowing what the song was or who it was by – not that that made any difference to how good the story was, but as the fic was based around the song, I would have liked to know what it was and who it was by. It was only when I checked back to the link for the story, looked through it again, then read through the copyright etc. blurb at the bottom that nobody usually bothers reading (that’ll teach me!) that I found the title and artist.

So – on the whole, great piece, but one or two flaws from my own personal point of view.
Jude

Hiii There will be a critique from me, probably tomorrow morning. Have had the busiest weekend ever- was a friends 21st birthday but yee it's half finished.

In His Sister's Eyes (By Saving Just This One) - Lostladyknight

Good Things:
I love how you always manage to capture interaction between characters so realistically -- something that you've done yet again here. The little snap-shot of his family life was endearing, and I enjoyed reading the close relationship between brother and sister that you portrayed. Twas tres cute.

You know my feelings about song-fics generally, but I really liked how you used this particular song in a diegetic way, making it actually part of the scene via a ringtone rather than a sort of overlay from some off-screen entity that rarely works in writing. It was especially effective because of the weight of the lyrics, and their relation to the subject matter. Another reason I thought this worked well was because you had the characters visibly react to the song which, again, really helped to make the music feel like it belonged there -- particularly at this point:

Description is definitely your forte. You've always been great at sucking the reader in and making them feel in the moment, and here here I felt like I was an omniscient observer, casually watching as Nick and Becky reminisced. Nice job on the family memories, by the way. And your mention of all the photographs made those moments feel even more real and almost nostalgic.

A final thing I have to say under this heading, and it's to do with your style, is that I love how you manage to always write something that, from the outset, seems to have no real plot... but then the story later becomes the plot. Eh... what I mean by that is that it just makes your writing seem effortless. Kinda like you could just write about a dustbin and somewhere along the way something poignant will appear that's both cute and thought provoking, but never loses the simpleness that makes it so engrossing in the first place.

I should probably just move on now...

Things To Consider:
I won't bother with grammatical stuff -- Jude's beaten me to it. Soooo, the only thing I have to talk about is your ending. It seemed a little unfinished, perhaps, or maybe just out of place with your otherwise excellent flow. I like that you let Becky have the final comment, and the context of the final comment, and how you had her exit, but one part just seemed to stick out a little for me -- I think it's because I expected you to go somewhere with it (it's probably just the lawyer in me). It's a nice way of enforcing the bond between the two of them, without having one of them have to say it and reducing your story into sap, but it's the part in red which appears to be slightly awkward as the final thought (forgetting the last two lines of the song, for a moment). Just a quick follow up of something like what I've suggested below might make it read just that bit more smoothly:

Conclusion:

Twas full of all that LLK writing goodness. More soon? Yay.

TQ: What is your favorite episode in your favorite fandom? Why?

I can't even choose a favourite fandom, let alone a favourite episode!! Hehe. Um... But there are so MANY! Okay, I'm so sorry, LLK, but I'm backing out of this one. I honestly can't choose, I'm sorry...


Critique:

Oh, my. Oh, my. Wow. I had to stop reading. You had me tearing up in the middle of my living room! My dad would've thought that there was something horribly wrong. I'm actually glad that my brothers aren't here. I don't think I would have been able to control myself. Haha, this piece really struck a chord with me - can you tell? I have to ask, though: do you have siblings, LLK? If not, you have an utterly amazing empathy.

I mean, even if you do, this piece is so emotionally charged that very few people could have written it. I can't think of anyone else I know who could have written that relationship and that scene so well. I think someone else pointed it out, but I love how much emotion and substance you've put into this piece, despite the fact that at its base, it's just two people sitting and having a conversation.

I loved the whole thing, but this line was great:

He was eleven that day, Brian fifteen, and Teresa twenty-three but for right then they could’ve all been six considering how close they were.

It's so telltale of sibling relationships. I mean, when you're six, they're really the only people besides your parents that you have a truly emotional relationship with. And everything's instantaneous. I was actually thinking about that just the other day. If you argue with your parents, or a friend, you tend to stay mad at them for hours, if not days (especially when you're a teenager), but things with siblings tend to just go away after you've left the room. I mean minor-ish, facile things like who's using the computer next, or how loud their music is allowed to be when you're trying to sleep. Hehe.

I liked the quietness (for lack of a better word) that is in this scene. I can picture it so clearly in my head. I'm going to have to find the song, too. What is it? Sorry this is so late, LLK. But I'm beyond glad that I caught up, because this piece is truly amazing!

Thank you!

-Giorgia

As a matter of a fact, I do have siblings. Several of them.

I have an older brother, he's not quite 2 years older than me. When I was 13 and he was almost 15 we moved in with a foster family (do you use that term in your country?). Anyway, so they had 3 girls. It's been about 9 years, so I kinda think of their girls as my own sisters. So, if you ask me I *usually* say that I have 4 siblings. One brother, and three sisters who are 5, 6, and 8 years younger than me. So yeah, I'm one of five.

Yeah, we use the term "foster family", though you don't tend to hear it as much, here. Just because of the sovernment systems, though, I'd imagine. That, and a smaller population. Still, the fact that you have siblings doesn't make the story any less awesome. But now, I have to get back to my English. I've got a few thousand words to write, it's due in two days, and I'm having massive mental blocks. Really not helping with the whole "essay" thing.

Grr at my brain.