Okie dokie, thought I'd get this one in early, don't know how much time I'll have this week. Busy busy!

TQ: What appeals to you about certain fandoms enough to make you want to write for them? How do you know when you're "ready" to jump in with a new fandom? Which fandoms do you choose not to write for? Why?

Oooh what an amazing TQ I'm not quite sure how to answer it though lol. The first fandom I started writing for (CSI:Miami) has never been my favourite fandom, yet I've written the most fics for it. Why? I think it's appealing because it isn't my favourite, and if I ended up writing something that doesn't do the show or the characters justice, it wouldn't have mattered too much.

Then I stopped watching Miami and had to start writing for other fandoms, specifically Bones and NCIS, again not my favourite fandoms but ones of which I had enough knowledge of the characters and plot lines to piece together some semi-decent fic, thats's mainly how I felt ready to write in these new fandoms, well that and the fact I had some fellow writers within the fandom who I could sound ideas of off. That was important too, having people in the know who could tell me if I was doing a rubbish job and what I could do to fix it.

Now the fandoms I always thought I would never write for are my favourites (Stargate, Farscape and X Files). I've since written a few Stargate fics and am in the process of writing a Farscape one, admittedly they are all AU's , and I've only started writing for them because the plot bunnies became unbearable. I'll never write for X Files though, there's no way I'm messing with those characters. Mulder and Scully are off limits and I know that I'd never be able to do them justice (there are some incredible authors in this fandom and I'll never be that good) and I've also seen how badly other people get it wrong and it's so annoying, I don't want to be annoying and shockingly bad

Critique:

The good bits: First off, what a lovely fic packed full of angst. I'm a sucker for it, my love for angst will never die and I don't know the fandom buuut, it wasn't a problem in this piece. (Actually I lie, we got shown one epi of this in school, it was about a boy who hung himself or something)

Anyway, onto the critique.

I LOVED the first bit 'Like some artsy black-and-white film, the camera lens distorting until all that is left is the silhouette in the doorway, dark grey blurs smoking across the screen behind him, and he wondered if he was concussed.' This piece of description is just awesome, and I could just picture it in my head.

'His head spun as he took another step forward, left hand unwrapping itself from his right bicep, reaching almost of its own accord.' - again with the description, this says so much in such a little space, at least for me

I like how Danny changed ever so subtly from not being quite sure what to do, to knowing that he had to protect Martin from the unnecessary poking and prodding, and then offering to do it himself, was just really sweet.

'Wash the rain and the pavement and the surgery off, and for a moment, Danny watched blood seep through Martin’s hospital gown. Blood that, intellectually, he knew wasn’t there. Blood that he couldn’t stop seeing.' - you're painting such a powerful picture here. Danny knows the blood isn't really there, but it still scares him anyway, it's a 'what if' scenario, Martin could easily be dead already and Danny won't be able to get that out of his head until he at least wakes up.

1million points for the Macbeth reference (the first Shakespeare play I acted in!), it was an excellent analogy to draw on, he's equating his guilt to Lady Macbeth's, even though it's not really his fault, ti shows how guilty he's feeling.

I'm quoting description again 'His eyes burned as he did, watching Martin’s skin prickle as the water cooled' but this story is just packed full of so many beautiful little gems like this. The description is not over done either, sometimes it's hard to get the right balance and it's easy to be over-descriptive, but you've really nailed it in this piece.

'Almost died and his blood was on Danny’s shirt, his pants, his shoes; could still smell gunpowder and blood and rain, underpinned by antiseptic and stale sheets. But he couldn’t smell Martin. Not shampoo or soap or cologne or washing powder or sweat or whatever it was that determined how Martin smelled' - This is probably my favourite paragraph. I think I like it so much because the sense of smell is widely underused in fics (the ones I've read anyway).

People bang on so much about what the characters are hearing, feeling, even tasting, but they rarely mention how things smell. And in real life, the how something or more specifically someone smells can be so comforting, and at the same time, if that is taken away, how scary it can be. From personal experience, even now, sometimes I can't sleep unless I've sprayed some of my Nanna's perfume in the air. I just love that you added that in, and the fact that Danny can't smell Martin's unique scent and it freaks him out. Maybe that's because if Martin had died, then his smell wouldn't be there either. That's the way I'm reading it anyway, maybe I'm wrong But I absolutely adored it.

Finally, the tenderness that Danny showed towards Martin, just lept off the page. It was sweet without being over the top. Just the little descriptions throughout of the touches and how gentle Danny was, it was lovely

Not so good things: I've read, re-read and re-read again and can't find anything wrong with this piece. Spelling and grammar I'm not so good at, but your pieces are usually flawless anyway

I really enjoyed this, well done

Critique:

Oh, my goodness. That was an amazing piece! *hugs Danny tightly*

I love how you set up the story. From the first sentence, there's almost this sense of surrealism attached to the piece, yet at the same time, the piece is grounded in reality. Very real people, very real scenarios, very real emotions. But throughout, there are moments of surrealism, and flashbacks, that punctuate the piece.

Amazing. Truly amazing.

I know I've said this before, but I'll be happy to say it again- I love the way you write Danny and Martin. They're such awesome characters to begin with, and you bring such a unique and great light to them that I love to read. They're so caring and tender with each other that it's awesome.

I also love the off-set in this piece. You have long paragraphs and short, short sentences and long. It's a really good balance between great descriptions and actions.

Awesome job.


TQ: What appeals to you about certain fandoms enough to make you want to write for them? How do you know when you're "ready" to jump in with a new fandom? Which fandoms do you choose not to write for? Why?

I think any fandom where I really enjoy the characters and have ideas of different scenarios to put them in can push me into starting to write for them. I’m usually ready after I feel I have enough of a grasp on the characters that I can write them successfully without completely sucking. If I feel like there’s something I’m not comfortable with as far as characterizations go, I don’t go there.

I choose not to write for Gilmore Girls or House, mostly because I don’t think I can possibly do them justice. And I’ve also stopped watching House (*ducks*), so I have no idea what’s happened.

Thirty-Five Minutes (Giorgia )

Good Things:
You've always been very good at setting the mood of your piece and keeping the tension going throughout, using your structure to heighten and lower the emotion as and when you want to. Your one line paragraphs are an example of this, and the pace you build up when you string a few together. It's not something a lot of people understand how to do, so good job with that.

The way you really described Danny's emotional turmoil was also well done, and ties in with what I've just aforementioned. I liked how you kept his thoughts coming, always chopping and changing as he struggled with both his guilt and how he'd been trained to deal with situations such as this. The offhand comment you made about the bucket being more like a container, for example, was very clever and oh so simple. Extremely effective.

Your opening was stunning. The first line almost felt like a transition to me, as though I could see the screen swirl and I was transported into Danny's mind. And I loved how you mirrored it with your ending, in that it was a one line paragraph -- and a very final one at that -- ending the 'hypnosis' you'd placed upon your reader.

Actually, as I read this story I was thinking to myself how much you've grown as a writer since you first joined this site -- you have a very very distinctive style and I wouldn't even have to have seen your name at the top to know that you'd written it.

So, yeah, [insert more praise here]...

Things To Consider:

Three grammatical things very quickly. The first being: The T should be lower case.

Next: Semi-colon usage is wrong here. It would, however, work if you inserted the word he straight after it, and would be even more grammatically correct if you began your sentence with he again, or maybe Martin to avoid repetition and flow breakage. Although, sometimes when using semi-colons the repetition is more effective.

Lastly: Again, there shouldn't be a semi-colon here. Something that always helps me decide whether to use one or not is to split the sentence into two and read them as separate. If they both make sense and work as stand alone sentences, then a semi-colon usually works. However, this one is tricky because of your style, which is something I'm about to explain.

What you tend to do whenever you write character pieces, particularly when you write as Danny, is to really try to get into the character's mind. Your sentences start to read as thought processes -- which is a very good technique to have -- and you begin to start sentences as though they are half finished, like they've been plucked straight out of someone's mind. Here are some examples where it works perfectly: Now the reason the above examples work, and do indeed add to the feel of Danny's thought processes, is because of the pace you set when you use this technique. You start with a simple line, that also has a clear, grammatically correct beginning, then use the full-stop quickly, but without giving the reader chance to pause, you throw them straight back into another sentence that's already one step ahead and which just keeps building, all the while getting faster. (I really hope I've explained that in a way that makes sense. PM me later if you'd like more details and I'll try to be as clear as possible).

But, here is when it doesn't quite work, due to the lack of pace and the length of time between the clear, accurate beginning line and your quick followup: I hope you can see what I mean. You could easily insert the word he before realised without disrupting your flow at all. Placing commas around vaguely if you did this is another option. Alternatively, another thing that you could do is to simply change the word to realising and place he before felt. Experimenting with pace is often quite fun as it's pretty interesting to see how even the tiniest tweak can change the way that something is read.

A lessor example where it doesn't really work is here, because you use the technique in very quick succession with a dodgy semi-colon usage: It works fine until you reach the word bathroom -- I like the repetition of the word thought before that, and the easy way it flows on from your single line paragraph. You just need something to slow it down a fraction whilst keeping your otherwise excellent flow, and there are a few things you could do to smooth over the rest of this paragraph, so I shall go on to list them.
1) Could change it to: Bathroom was a welcome sight as he pushed the door open-- he barely made it to the toilet before throwing up. First time since he'd quit drinking and that was terrifying.
2) Could change it to: Bathroom was a welcome sight as he pushed the door open, though he barely made it to the toilet before throwing up. First time since he'd quit drinking and that was terrifying.
3) Could change it to: Bathroom was a welcome sight as he pushed the door open, though he barely made it to the toilet before throwing up -- first time since he'd quit drinking, and that was terrifying.

And finally, this sentence reads unfinished to me: It's like you've started to say something but never arrive at ultimately saying it. A very quick fix would simply to be to change wavering to wavered. Your next sentence then almost acts as a conclusion. If you wanted to, you could even go further and insert his at the beginning also.

Conclusion:

Excellent job again, Giorgia -- you must be getting tired of hearing that, haha.