Okay, the unthinkable happened; I managed to write something.

LLK, it's in your inbox, I hope.

Oh. I am SO good! If it hadn't been for me, Kaz would never have written that... I MADE HER DO IT!

*pats self on back* I'm giving myself permission to be arrogant.

Oh, but the story is all Kaz. That's her awesomeness!

Lol, actually, it was a combination of both you and Jodie. You're the one who made me keep going; she's the one who inspired me.

And I'm not promising that what I wrote was any good.

But, thanks, guys.

o.o where are you, Kaz. Are you still on Yahoo?!

And, just to those whom it may concern, I'm going back to work on my fic again. YAY ME!

TQ: Why did you interpret the challenge the way you did? Why did you write what you wrote? Are you happy with it?

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The Assignments:

Amanda_Ruth: Tango: Literati
By: LLK

lostladyknight:Love Sick By: *Sarai*

*Sarai*: Reality By: Kaz

Kazalene: The Stupidedst Conversation Ever By: peaceloverainbow

peaceloverainbow: Stir Crazy By: Giorgia

Giorgia: Going Home Again By: Racefh853629

Racefh853629: Crazy Dreams and Wedding Days By: Amanda_Ruth

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Thanks all!

Don't forget to critique this week. You will be banned for 10 weeks if you don't.

Lots of love,

-LLK

Yay! First critique!

TQ: Why did you interpret the challenge the way you did? Why did you write what you wrote? Are you happy with it?

I suppose I interpreted the challenge the way I did because I interpreted it literally. I live on the edge. I wrote for an entirely new fandom (so I took that bit rather literally) and pretty much everything I write is romance, so that one was already decided upon.

I wrote what I did because it was something I'd never done before, and it's something that not many other people seem to write for and/or ship. So I had the option of being slightly left-wing in regards to that. Also, with writing a slash of which neither character is (known to be) gay, everything is going to be a little out of character, which gave me a bit of room.

Besides, I can't really say I have all that many ships for TV shows that are actually still airing. Also, the airing here is about a year behind the US most of the time, so it's hard to write for a ship that may have progressed, unbeknownst to me.

I suppose I'm happy with it, yeah. I mean, it's hard, because I've nothing to compare it to in regards to anything I've ever written before, so... But I like it, yeah. Hm. Conclusion: I'm happy with it.

Critique:

Going Home Again by racefh853629

Okay. First of all: Poor Tony! That's horrible. I love that he misses McGee. Of all people. It's funny the things you miss when you go away. That Tony misses Gibbs smacking him in the head is something very true to homesickness. And poor Ziva... That's a bit harsh. Having to get married and all.

Your description of all the teammates was fantastic. You summed all of them up in a single sentence, and you did it well.



Though I think the first sentence is supposed to be, "He didn't have Probie". The fact that you've got McGee as his best friend is so funny. Their relationship is almost brotherly: Tony picks on him, but he has a certain soft spot for him and is somewhat protective of him in that way.



Oh, this line just hit me! It's like suddenly the bunkmate becomes truly cruel, rather than just a bastard with an overload of testosterone.

And I loved Abby. "Impossibly positive" is the only way to truly describe her general demeanour. Her conversation with Tony was really good, too. The thing I love about NCIS is that each character has a specific and uniquie relationship with every other character, and I imagine that that can be hard at times to write. And you've done it very well.

I think the only not-so-grea pthing I picked up on was:



I think I know what you're trying to do with continuity, but the second part is just a bit awkward. Perhaps, "should not have taken it" would have been a bit easier. But this, as i said, is the only thing. Everything else was fantastic!

Yay! Tony's going home!!

Gaw! That was pretty much the cutest thing ever. You know what it reminds me of? Well, the end of the fic anyway? Those adorable little notes from middle school. You know these: Yeah... Not sure why but that's exactly what I thought of. That whole ending section was just too adorable for words.

The whole story was pretty damn neat though. I liked the paralells you drew between Violet and Cooper, both of them going to Pete for help sleeping and all. And the way that he locked him in the room was just classic. How many times in your life have you wanted to do the same exact thing to your friends? I know I have. I also chuckled when everyone was there. None of them asked why it was that they had been locked into the room. I take it this is another one of those cases where everyone but the involved parties know how much they care for one another? Another classic lovers' blunder!

Also, I like the fandom you picked. I've never viewed many episodes but I was watching it pretty regularly once upon a time. Though I've never even heard of people writing for it. Do they have much of a fan base in PP fanfic world? Also writing a fanfic after so few episodes? You're a brave soul! But it worked out wonderfully! Really, It's pretty damn amazing.

Things not to like?

You had a mistake or two but nothing even worth mentioning. It was fabulous. Awesome job child.

LLK will TQ later.

Wow... this critique is PATHETIC. I sowwy darling. I'll try to beef it up later...

First off: Very, very, very good story.

I loved it. It's quite possibly one of my top 20 favorite fics. :] (And believe me, I've read a lot.)

There's just something about Martin and Danny that's like...

I loved how you did this fic. The word choice is good, and the conversations between them made me laugh.



I love this part. I don't know why, I just do.



I think that should be 'in an amused tone' because amusedly isn't a word. xP (Sorry, I'm a grammar/spelling Nazi)



Okay, kudos to you. This is probably one of the best lines I've ever read in a fanfiction. <3



That paragraph just hooked me in like, BAM!

But I must admit I don't get the second part of the second sentence. 'Thirty-six hours was too long a day for anyone, let alone in an office.' that just doesn't sound right to me.

I can't read this (I read this more times than you'd probably care to know x3) without the line 'Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster' popping up in my head everytime Martin talks to Danny. I think I'm going crazy, haha.



He must be a psychic or something! O: I bet his thoughts were full of those annoying Beavis & Butthead laughs because that's what I think every thought going through a bartender's mind is... but that's just me.

Again, I really loved this fic. <3 I think it was genius.

TQ: Why did you interpret the challenge the way you did? Why did you write what you wrote? Are you happy with it?

I interpreted the challenge the way I did because it didn't have to be centered on the phrase 'do I have to fall asleep...', and I had a pretty neat idea about how I would put it into my fic. I think it turned out quite nice. :]

I wrote what I wrote because, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how to describe anything in the fic so I just decided to do an all-dialogue fic. It was really fun to write, and a change from the descriptive stuff I write.

I am extremely happy with how it turned out. I think it's probably one of the funniest things I've written to date - at least in the top 30. Maybe the top 40. Somewhere around there. ^_^

Thanks, Giorgia, for the awesome critique! And, I think in a weird way, Tony and McGee are best friends... though Tony definitely would never admit it... haha. Thanks again!


Critique:
Story: "Crazy Dreams and Wedding Days" by Amanda_Ruth

I really enjoyed this story. It was well written, detailed, and a good read. You have the characterizations down well for all of Stars Hollow, and your unique style of writing shines through almost immediately.

The story was a good mix of romance, humor, and angst (in the Rory/Jess plotline). I'm glad Lorelai decided to get back with Luke after that party, because that was amazing on his part to set that up.

There were points in this story that made me laugh pretty hard (especially Kirk walking in with his eyes covered), and the whole story made me excited and happy, so thank you for that.

Not so good points- At times, the wordings got a little confusing... I couldn't tell exactly what was going on, but reading it a few times helped make it clearer.

All in all, great story!


TQ:
I'm the one who came up with the challenge, so I kinda had an idea before I started writing. And that idea solely was that I was going to write an NCIS story.

I chose the angst angle because it's something I excel at (as anyone who typically reads my stories would know). And even though I haven't yet seen the end of Season 5, I know what happens in the final episode and that the team gets broken up, so I thought I'd center it around that time.

Also, I think with Tony being a more goofy character, giving him a moment or two of sadness and darkness. He wants to go home not just because his friends are there, but because he's in a crap situation.

LLK: Thanks for the lovely critique That was kinda the angle I ended up going for at the end, and I’m glad that it showed (the kinda fluffiness:)) On ff.net Private Practice had a grand total of 130 fics when I checked last


TQ: Why did you interpret the challenge the way you did? Why did you write what you wrote? Are you happy with it?

Umm, the whole idea for my fic actually came from the ‘do I have to fall asleep’ line. I’d just watched an episode of Private Practice where one of the characters has insomnia, and then the plot just sorta happened. I’ve never even thought about writing for that particular fandom before (I’ve only seen 4 episodes), and I interrepted ‘include a fandom you haven’t written before’ to mean just write in a totally new fandom, which I did and it turn out to be quite fun. I chose my characters just because I love them and they’re adorable Oh it’s a little less angsty than what I’ve been writing recently and I guess I wrote that because I thought, while I’m trying something new I might as well do something a little different. Am I happy with it? Umm, it’s hard to say actually. I don’t know the characters well at all, and I personally feel that it’s a little unfinished (it’s definitely a bit rushed) but I’m glad I wrote it though, I’m planning another venture into PP fanfic soon methinks


Critique: 'Reality' by Kaz.

Okay, firstly I’m sorry for the lateness of this critique. Secondly, wow. Just wow. I think this fic was amazing. I love that you’ve written it in second person (which is quickly becoming my favourite style of writing). I liked that it sort of explained what had happened, the flow was really, really good, exactly like thought processes; which is really important when your writing in second person. You have to sort of be inside their head. And you were.

I like the broken paragraphs (I don’t actually know if they have a proper name. They just make sense, and drive home the point of the larger paragraph before.

Nice symbolism with the roses, you seem to be able to create this wonderful imagery and the scene just played out in my head. Not many people can do that well, but you are one of them.

I’ve never watched One Tree Hill in my life (my sister was actually horrified when I confused it with the OC) but I felt like a I knew these characters and all their history just by the way you told the story. It was like you were telling what happened before and then what is happening in the present, but at the same time, and it worked really well.

I was rooting for them by the end of it, and I was so so happy for them, this fic was adorable and perfect and fluffy without being too fluffy. And you also had the little serious moment just before the end, and the change of pace there was in just the right place. Like she knows this is her dream, and it’s coming true for her, but she’s still that little bit wary that it might go wrong. It was very believeable.

I love how you included the required elements, this line was amazing-


What an amazing use of the words

And the very last line; my god it was perfection. You summed up the whole fic in 10 words. 9I’m currently trying to refrain from using the word amazing again.)

I can’t believe that you rushed this, or that you didn’t proof read it, because I couldn’t find a single mistake and it didn’t look rushed at all.

Ehh I can’t find anything wrong with it. At all… this has honestly got to be one of my favourite fics that I’ve critiqued (and I don’t even watch the show!).

Really well done with this

First of all, thank you LeAnne for such a wonderful critique. *Gives you big squishy hug*

TQ: Why did you interpret the challenge the way you did? Why did you write what you wrote? Are you happy with it?

I have two words to answer all three questions here: Pink sambuca.

I really have no idea why I interpreted the challenge the way I did. I was struggling to write anything down; I think I changed fandoms about eight times. Then Jodie gave me an additional element of white and red flowers that had to be made into a metaphor, and I went to get a cup of tea. There I was, standing waiting for the kettle to boil and I was thinking, 'Just what the heck am I supposed to do with that?' Then a few minutes later the unity symbol came to me and I just ran with that.

So why did I write what I wrote? Because that was what my brain came up with. I just made it all up as I went. And also because Amanda made me .

Am I happy with it? I don't really feel anything towards it, except relief that I got it done. But then I'm like that with everything I write; it's always more, 'Okay, job done. What's next?'

Critique: The Stupidest Conversation Ever, by peaceloverainbow

Strong Points:

Okay, for starters, this story is really very unique. Which is a good thing in my book, because I love being able to pick out things that makes every writer different.

I have to admit, when I realised that this was a pure dialogue fic I was a little put off, but as I kept reading I found that it didn't matter. What you gave the reader was a conversation through and through; any prose wouldn't have worked at all, because that wasn't the style you were going for. Your title clearly embodies your entire story, and I really do mean that in a good way - it was funny. And for a dialogue fic, it read like one. What I mean is that nothing seemed forced; it truly felt like I was witnessing a conversation between two insane people. It was light and fun, and even though I have never read twilight (it is a book, right?) it didn't matter.

Grammar was pretty good in this, too. You had commas in all the right places, had spaces after the ellipsis... and just a general good use of punctuation.

I like how you just threw the reader into the action straight away with, "Why did you kidnap me?" It set the pace for the rest of the fic, and it's something you maintained throughout. After all, conversations are usually fast. It just added to the natural feel.

Not So Good Things:

This is probably just me, being the dork that I am, but Stupidest isn't a word - well it is, but it always seems wrong to me, maybe because it's like slang. But, that said, I know what you mean, and I guess you could say it fits better than 'most stupid'.

It was a little unclear who was saying what at times, but just adding something like, 'Ben said/shouted/joked/quipped' every now and then would have helped.

Other than that, I don't really have anything. Although, I'm not so keen on dialogue fics. However, this worked as one. And I did enjoy it.

Conclusion:

You changed my opinion on conversation stories, and I thought it was rather clever. The banter was fun, if a little crazy, and even though there wasn't any real plot, it was still a good read.

Now I'm off out for happy hour. To the people of Kent, I apologise for the rabble of army girls you are about to experience. It wasn't my idea, and I'm going to yell at whoevers it was, because this cammo paint is making my skin feel icky.

EDIT: I apologise for my appalling lack of grammar in this. I really should read what I write.

[font=Times New Roman]Thanks for the critique, racefh853629! I'm glad you liked it so much, but there was a typo you missed that could've gotten me in serious trouble o.O Seriously, it was the difference between an innocent kiss and smut! LOL! I don't blame you, honestly. I'm just kidding. Just thought I'd point out that I made a total fool of myself for leaving out the word 'lip' at a crucial point in the story.

Why did you interpret the challenge the way you did? Why did you write what you wrote? Are you happy with it?

OK, the first part of the challenge was difficult, mainly because the line was bugging the heck outta me. I didn't have the faintest idea where I would put 'Do I have to fall asleep' without it sounding contrived and ridiculous. So, I went back to personal experience, and figured the only time where I wondered if I had to sleep was on Christmas when I was a little kid. So, voila, the dream sequence at the beginning was born. Giving me a minimum word count wasn't all that much of a challenge, considering most of my one shots go well beyond 1000 words. And I never write smut, so PG-13 is the only thing I know how to write o.O.

Alright, when it comes to fandom, I haven't been able to stick to a single fandom for more than one story since I wrote outside of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. After writing What He Wants for CSI: New York, I found myself writing Pride & Punishment for CSI: Miami and Opportunities for Bones. Then, when this challenge came into my life, it gave me the perfect segue into my fifth fandom: Gilmore Girls. That show quickly became my favorite after months of trying to avoid it, and when it ended, I almost died from sadness. When they left the whole Luke/Lorelai situation open for interpretation, I decided to run with it. So the first chapter came pretty easily, ending in about 4000 words of humor and romance that might cause cavities.

When I got bored a couple nights after I finished it, I started to write a second chapter, this one focused on the never fully resolved Rory/Jess storyline (at least, not resolved the way I wanted it ). With that chapter came the element that I had previously chosen to leave out, simply because it was optional: Angst. So, all around, I was able to incorporate everything in this challenge pretty simply just by the way I interpreted it, which was all too literally.

When it comes to why I wrote what I did, aside from the reasons I explained above, it was mainly because my dream since the show ended was to write a post-series for Gilmore Girls. I was never happy with them just throwing Luke and Lorelai back together, and I demanded a wedding that I was positive I wasn't going to get. So, with that demand, I figured I might as well make it happen myself. So, that's what I did. AND YAY I DID IT WELL! Well, at least I think I did.

I'm truly in love with my story. I bug all my friends who like Gilmore Girls to read it, and they always like it. I'm so proud of how I did everything, except for the typo that had Rory biting something that was NOT a bottom lip... you do the math.

Critique of Tango: Literati

First of all, I can honestly see how this could be loosely based off of the song Tango: Maureen. More likely than not, I see the relationship between Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano having many similarities to Joanne Jefferson and Maureen Johnson. At least, there are a few similarities between Rory and Joanne, as well as Jess and Maureen. They act similar to each other when it comes down to the most basic of personality traits, so it's very clever how you brought that analogy into play without actually putting it into the story.

Staying on the point of characters, your characterization was superb. I could see every little thing the two of them were doing actually happening at some point on the show. I mean, Rory trying to read and Jess trying to... y'know, it was just all too funny how I could see it happening. UGH! Especially that kiss followed by Jess being a total butt head (why did you take away my swearing?!) and telling Rory to get back to work. The little weasel. He's a freaking tease, and I wanted to punch him in the sexy teeth.

I think what I liked most about this story was that it was Jess Rory. Logan needs to get in that little jet of his and fly into Mt. Vesuvius. Now. I really didn't like him, and Dean was just a little girl who got a wee bit too lucky that first time. He belonged with that skanky little wife of his, and I don't like him at all. Jess and Rory were perfect for each other, despite his attitude when it came to school. He had the interest in intellectual things that Rory connected to, and they also connected on such a deep emotional level, and it went way beyond sexual. I think anyone Rory had sex with was just... not right for her. She and Jess almost did it that one time, but it wasn't right. She knew that. She wanted to, but she knew that it wasn't right... at the time. Then stupid Dean had to start that stupid fight. >.<

Anyhow, I don't know how good this critique is so far, and I don't know if I can make it any better. I think my favorite bit from the story was when Rory was threatening to run away with all the authors. She has such a sophisticated way of teasing that you caught beautifully there, and I don't think I've seen caught by anyone but the veteran Gilmore Girls fan fiction authors out there, like Mags68. You just... God, I'm in awe, dude. It was so good. Don't ever get rid of that story, I want it to exist forever.

Great job, and only thing I can complain about is sentence structure being a little clumsy, which is nothing, and something even I do, apparently (thanks again racefh!) It doesn't take more than a beta to fix that. LOL! Sorry, shutting up.

I loved it.

I love you.

Amanda Ruth[/font]

Best TQ Winner: Amanda Ruth

TQ: Why did you interpret the challenge the way you did? Why did you write what you wrote? Are you happy with it?

OK, the first part of the challenge was difficult, mainly because the line was bugging the heck outta me. I didn't have the faintest idea where I would put 'Do I have to fall asleep' without it sounding contrived and ridiculous. So, I went back to personal experience, and figured the only time where I wondered if I had to sleep was on Christmas when I was a little kid. So, voila, the dream sequence at the beginning was born. Giving me a minimum word count wasn't all that much of a challenge, considering most of my one shots go well beyond 1000 words. And I never write smut, so PG-13 is the only thing I know how to write o.O.

Alright, when it comes to fandom, I haven't been able to stick to a single fandom for more than one story since I wrote outside of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. After writing What He Wants for CSI: New York, I found myself writing Pride & Punishment for CSI: Miami and Opportunities for Bones. Then, when this challenge came into my life, it gave me the perfect segue into my fifth fandom: Gilmore Girls. That show quickly became my favorite after months of trying to avoid it, and when it ended, I almost died from sadness. When they left the whole Luke/Lorelai situation open for interpretation, I decided to run with it. So the first chapter came pretty easily, ending in about 4000 words of humor and romance that might cause cavities.

When I got bored a couple nights after I finished it, I started to write a second chapter, this one focused on the never fully resolved Rory/Jess storyline (at least, not resolved the way I wanted it ). With that chapter came the element that I had previously chosen to leave out, simply because it was optional: Angst. So, all around, I was able to incorporate everything in this challenge pretty simply just by the way I interpreted it, which was all too literally.

When it comes to why I wrote what I did, aside from the reasons I explained above, it was mainly because my dream since the show ended was to write a post-series for Gilmore Girls. I was never happy with them just throwing Luke and Lorelai back together, and I demanded a wedding that I was positive I wasn't going to get. So, with that demand, I figured I might as well make it happen myself. So, that's what I did. AND YAY I DID IT WELL! Well, at least I think I did.

I'm truly in love with my story. I bug all my friends who like Gilmore Girls to read it, and they always like it. I'm so proud of how I did everything, except for the typo that had Rory biting something that was NOT a bottom lip... you do the math.