The Challenge:

1. Less than 1, 500 words.
2. PG 13 or lower.
3. "Valentines Day" is the theme.
4. Must be a ship/fandom/character you've never written before. IE If you usually write "YoBling" for Vegas but you've never tried writing Grissom focused story, that's okay or just write for NY or Miami if you've never tired that before. (This is what I'm going to have to do.)
5. Must begin with the line: "It's snowing..."

TQ: What about this challenge was hardest for you as a writer? Explain in as much or as little detail as you like.

The Assignments:

Zelda49
Icecold by: Adorelo http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4062072/1/icecold

lostladyknight
12:01 by: CalleighD http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4063020/1/12_01

Jennifer
I'll Be Waiting by: Zelda49 http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4062391/1/

CalleighD
The Panty Man by: MaryMagdalen http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4061771/1/The_Panty_Man

MaryMagdalen
Frozen by: lostladyknight http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4062386/1/Frozen

Adorelo
Three Kinds of Love by: Jennifer

The Critiques:

Story Title: Icecold
By: Adorelo
Critique by: Zelda49
Critique by Challenge: Project #2.


TQ: What about this challenge was hardest for you as a writer? Explain in as much or as little detail as you like.

The hardest thing about this challenge is the thing that is always hardest for me when I write a character that I’ve never written before: characterization. It’s difficult to crawl into someone’s head for the first time because it’s not a comfortable fit, it’s not familiar yet, and I always feel so unsure. In this case it was even harder because I was attempting to crawl into a head sort of against my will, lol. Sure it was my story idea, but it was an idea based on criteria I wouldn’t have used outside the challenge, and I’m used to being able to just write whatever the characters whisper in my ear. This time, though, it took me almost the entire week before I was comfortable enough to sit down and write, and I spent a lot of time just sort of swishing Grissom around in my mind to get a feel for him.



Critique

Things to work on:
Well this is going to be a short paragraph! Because, really, the only thing I could find to take issue with was the vulnerability you wrote into Catherine. And that’s not even an issue, either, it’s more like something I’m not accustomed to seeing with her. Cath is always so strong and tough and commanding that it’s strange to see her in a position where she appears weak. I can’t ever picture her admitting her weakness to anyone else, or anyone else noticing it (because she’s so good at hiding it) which is how it sounds because it was written in the third person. I can see her thinking these thoughts to herself, keeping them locked up in her own mind and heart, which might come through more powerfully if it was written in the first person.

Things that were good:
Spelling: check.
Grammar: check—except where you purposely used short, clipped, incomplete sentences, a technique that worked extremely well. It accentuates the words, makes them a bit harsher, and emphasizes them in all the right ways.
Characterization, Catherine: see above
Characterization, Warrick: check. You’re description of Warrick’s behavior was so spot on it was amazing. I could picture in my mind the expressions on his face, the confusion at Catherine’s anger, the soft way he looked at her at the end.
Use of elements: check. I loved the use of the snow globe, a very clever way to get snow in a desert (and an idea that I used myself for the same purpose!). I liked that it was a gift from Lindsay, something that was very innocent and sweet, but that caused pain on a different level. It added even more depth to a story that was already thought-provoking and emotion-inducing.

What a great job, Jodie, really! I would never have known this isn’t a pair you normally write if I hadn’t known about the challenge.


Critique:

Story Title: 12:01
By: CalleighD
Critique By: lostladyknight
Critique By Challenge: Project #2

Okay so first of all I'd like to say that this entire story took me by surprise. I was excited, going in, to see who you'd chosen to write about and I never expected the pairing you'd picked. I liked it though. I really really did. Not that I don't love all of the fanfictions I see on a weekly basis, but it was wonderful to read a fic that wasn't Calleigh/Eric centered. Not only was it an amazing break from that but an amazing story. Not that I was surprised that you wrote an amazing story. The plot also took me by surprise, I didn't expect it but it was good. It had a sobering effect and it really touched me. Wonderful.

I loved the pairing... even though I've never been convinced they worked together, the dynamic you gave the relationship between the two was great. I mean, it really worked. The love they had for each other was just radiating off the page. Amazing job.

There were a few grammar things. Most notably your use of numerals when you should have spelled out the number but that didn't detract anything from the story so don't worry about it. Also I think you lost a little on effect when you didn't say what it was that Natalia was sick with. Unless I missed it. Specific details like that help make stories seem a lot more real.

Amazing job though! I loved it. It was a pleasure to read. I'm really glad that we did this challenge this week and I loved what you did with it.

TQ: What about this challenge was hardest for you as a writer? Explain in as much or as little detail as you like

If I was completely honest I'd have to admit that I didn't have much trouble at all with this challenge. The hardest part was just trusting myself and trusting that what I was writing was good. I spent a lot of time worrying that I was going to write too much, too little, be too far off base with characterization, or that the angst that ended up coming out wouldn't fit. I don't think I actually just relaxed and enjoyed writing it and I think that was the hardest part because I had absolutely no faith in my finished product. Does that make any sense?


Frozen by lostladyknight
Critiqued by MaryMagdalen

I loved this story, from beginning to end. There was so much in it, and the whole thing was beautifully put together. The first time I read it through, I wondered who Ruben was – a brother? a friend? Then I got to the end and realised it was Rikki’s son. Let me at this point explain that I then read the reviews on ff.net, and realised that the story picks up on events from an episode of season 4 that hasn’t actually aired in the UK yet, and I had to go and do some research before I could write the critique - good old CSI files to the rescue! Having picked up on the details of the episode, I re-read the story, and I have to say it was even better second time around.

You got Danny’s character just right – he always seems so vulnerable, but so ready to put himself out there where he’s going to get hurt. And the way he rarely seems able to say what matters when it matters – you got that right too.

What really captivated me is the descriptive way that you write – you have a lovely way with words! This is just a personal thing, but three years ago I moved back to live in the city, and reading some of the description in this, it made me think, yeah, they’re the things I missed while I was away – things like “the rhythm of nature in the city”, and “Staring out over the city... at the mess of lights”. I could picture it all as I read the story.

I loved the way you set it in such a special place. No, I mean it! It’s obvious that this rooftop is a special place to them both, a place to sit and contemplate, or to talk, or to cry, or just to be. Everyone should have a place like that. And someone to share it with occasionally.

The balance of emotions was just right too, the grief and pain contrasted with the humour and conversation towards the end. And as ever, spelling, grammar, etc. – perfect! What can I say? Faultless.

This is probably not a "helpful" critique because I can't find anything for you to improve - well I suppose you know just how good you are anyway!



I'll Be Waiting
By: zelda49
Critique by: Jennifer
Critique By Challenge: Project #2.

You know, when I was thinking of a way to start my story with "It's snowing" I was thinking actual snowing...so imagine my surprise when I noted yours was a snowglobe. I had a "DUH" <<hand smacking forehead>> kind of reaction. Ingenious to use a snowglobe!

I loved how you had Grissom try to plan a surprise for Sara, it was sweet of him to choose so carefully. Not the typical Man going for a box of chocolates or a stuffed bear, or the traditional roses (like in my story ), but a man actually thinking what she'd really like and appreciate.

The story is VERY well written, telling Grissom's feelings on truely being alone, and just what that means to him now, versus what it used to mean. It is to your credit that I, the reader, felt true sadness for Grissom, felt bad for him. Some people when they write certain emotions for characters don't elicit the same feelings in their readers...ie, the reader doesn't feel sadness when reading a sad story, or laugh with a funny story, smile with a happy story, etc. BUT...you did! Job well done!

I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and while this doesn't qualify as a happy ending, I am left with the feeling that Sara would return and Grissom will be waiting for her...and that the happy ending will occur, just sometime in the future .

Suggestions for future stories...um, well...none. I didn't notice any spelling, grammatical, or punctuation errors.

TQ: What about this challenge was hardest for you as a writer?

The hardest part of this challenge was having to write a character I've never written before. What made this really hard was the fact that I really haven't watched much of CSI:NY or CSI:LV...at least, not enough to have a good grasp of the characters on NY. And as for LV, not much in the past couple years, so the only characters I semi-know are Grissom, Catherine, Warrick, and Nick...but really I don't know them THAT well. The stories I've written thus far are for CSI:M, and while I've written E/C and H/C, I've included most of the other characters in my stories, albeit in small parts. So...choosing a character or couple to write about was HARD.

When I write a story, it is with characters I know well and I feel pretty confident I can keep them mostly in character, with maybe a small deviation. And this is part of what made writing my fic hard...I was afraid I'd fail to write the characters "in character". To be quite honest, I almost didn't participate in this challenge. To do so would require a bit of research into the characters and I have little time for that. But, low and behold I was struck with an idea while at work one day. I got home and went to the FF help forum and asked a few questions, and began writing...and while my fic didn't quite match my original idea, it did evolve from that idea.

Title: Three kinds of love
By Jennifer
Critique by Adorelo
Critique by Challenge project #2

Critique:

Firstly, I love the concept of getting three different types of love in there. Excellent idea! Also, the mixture of genres, from romance, to angst, to humor you captures the feelings of all three and brought them to life.

Though I don’t watch all the shows, I felt the emotions of each. I connected with the Danny/Lindsay dynamic, even though I’m not overly familiar with the characters.

The angst, well, we all know I’m an angst whore so I loved this. Your OC could do with being a little more well developed, but I understand it would be hard to do that with a short story. Regardless, I felt her pain and truly believed she loved him. A little girl? How adorably sad.

Alexx and Janie? How sweet? I can see Alexx being like that with her daughter, and it made their relationship very strong. And Alexx’s comment of, ‘not everyday I get to save a life’ is something I can really hear her say. So good job with the characterization.

It’s like in a film, when you have three different things happening at the exact same moment in time, in different places. I can really vividly see each situation.

Areas for improvement? Spelling and grammar were very good, so I can’t comment there much.

In the first section, when you skirted over the sex. I understand why, it did have to be PG, but as you told the entire story moment by moment, writing, ‘half an hour later’ seemed a bit of a mood killer.

Also, I don’t know if it’s because you don’t watch Vegas, but I found it odd that you mentioned all the shows except that one. Maybe it is just me.

Overall, I love this. I enjoyed reading and critiquing and I hope you write more soon doll. Good work!

TQ: What about this challenge was hardest for you as a writer?

Probably the fact I was writing out of my comfort zone. I usually embrace challenges, but the fact I was writing for a deadline and not for myself made it difficult for me to feel comfortable in my writing. I enjoyed the challenge, though. And the way is pushed my horizons. Characterization was quite hard, I wasn’t sure how far off the ball I was.

Title: The panty Man
By MaryMagdalen
Critique by CalleighD
Critique by Challenge project #2

I’ll start by saying I haven’t watched all the much NY, at all. So all of the stuff I said about me being a stickler for characterization, doesn’t really apply here, because I don’t think I could give a fair appraisal of your characterization.

I did however, really, really enjoy this story. When I first read it brought a big smile to my face, and then I re-read it again to critique it and again I was sitting here grinning like an idiot (that is a really good thing).

I really love the way you worked your OC’s into the story, and having them set the scene first was really nice. Katie is so cute and reminds me a lot of my little cousin, even down to the ‘panty-man’ quote

I never would have guessed ‘the panty man’ was Sheldon. I was sure for the life of me it was Mac for some reason, but when you revealed who it actually was, I could imagine him acting just like that, and plus, Sheldon seems to be under-represented in NY fics (well the ones I’ve read anyway) so you get points from me for writing a character that isn’t written about much.

The fact that you had the beginnings of a relationship between an established character and an OC was refreshing and new for me as I don’t usually read anything other than the ships I ship, and well you did it very nicely and also, it wasn’t the usually full on romance fic, it was fluffy and sweet and subtly romantic.

The only thing I could suggest as an area of improvement would be that last couple of paragraphs were hard to follow, because you had the dialogue right in there with the description, I had to work out who was saying what, but that's more of a formatting issue and it didn't take anything away from the story.

Overall it was lovely, nice to read, and left me with a warm feeling inside. And well done for writing an NY fic that i actually truely liked


and I'm so sorry again this is so late I know I sucked, but I did get it in and techinically it's still Saturday somewhere right?

TQ- What about this challenge was the hardest for you as a writer?

With this challenge I suppose the hardest thing for me was writing about characters I’d never down before. Personally, I think characterization is the key to good fanfiction and I hate it when I write something and I think it seems OOC. With one character I’ve written only briefly, one I’ve never written before in a ship I’ve not even given much thought to, the issue of characterization was always there in the back of my mind.